So, my significant other and I have been together for about 10 years and we aren’t married yet. Yes, some people may ask, “Well, why aren’t you married yet?”, “What’s he waiting for?”, “He doesn’t love you enough to marry you yet?” “Why don’t you just leave him since he’s wasting your time?” “You have a son together and you’re still not married?” so on and so forth. But, the majority of these people asking me these questions are in failing relationships or don’t even have a man/partner themselves. Obviously you can tell this subject annoys me lol. So, for inquiring minds that want to know, this is why we’re not married yet and how I feel about marriage.
- If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It
I’m not saying I will never get married, because we will. But, I’m not trying to fix something that just isn’t broken.
There is nothing wrong with the way our relationship
currently operates right now. We are both in a happy, healthy committed relationship so, if we like it, others should love it! I’m not going to rush my relationship and myself for the pleasure or happiness of others. We will do so in our own timing.
There is a lot of stuff involved when you’re planning a wedding. Heck, I was in one supporting one of my close friends and didn’t realize until then how involved the process was until then. You have to buy a dress, get a photographer, rings, engagement photos, venue, DJ, bridesmaids, etc. When we had our son we were both fairly young, trying to figure out some things in our relationship, had some issues we needed to resolve, etc. I was finishing undergrad, went to grad school, getting my career off the ground, buying a house, etc. So, the timing was just never right. When we get married, all my ducks will be in a row and I will be able to plan the wedding of my dreams (whatever that may be). Sometimes I see marriages fail because they rush into it to have sex, their pregnant, or it just wasn’t thought all the way through. Timing is everything, and so I’ll continue to wait on the Lord for the right timing. And, so that I’m not a bridezilla I think it’s best we move at our own pace lol.
Marriage is sooo expensive and I’m cheap! lol Why should I pay for my aunt’s cousin’s sister’s brother-in-law to eat my food, drink my champagne, to buy me a cheap gift or none at all when I don’t know these people?! lol I don’t want to spend money on pleasing other people for them to talk about what they didn’t like about it or complain about who wasn’t invited later on. Often times, I find the wedding is more for other family members than the bride and groom. I don’t want to end up in additional debt from spending thousands of dollars on my wedding to prove to others the value of our love or relationship. I’d rather invest in a business, my house, or some other asset.
4. A Ring Won’t Make Them Stay
Just like a baby, a ring won’t make your spouse stick around. Getting married doesn’t increase your chances of a successful marriage, a happy ending, or your chances of getting divorced. And, it doesn’t decrease your chances of infidelity or normal couples issues. Your spouse can do all those things regardless if your married or not.
5. Taking Marriage Seriously
IMO, marriage should be taken very seriously and I feel like most of society just doesn’t value it the same anymore. Marriage is dedicating your love for one another and exchanging vows between you both and God. It’s too often that I hear about married couples cheating, robbing each other blind when they divorce, and just being completely unhappy but, staying together for the kid (s) or to maintain a fake facade. Marriage is supposed to be serious and held to high standards and esteem. Therefore, I want to do it right and be 100% serious and confident in what I’m doing.
At the end of the day, you don’t have to be married to express your love for each other or buy a ring just to show others how much you value your relationship. When I get married it will be for myself and my husband, not to silence or please others. And, just for the record I am not shunning marriage or downing those engaged, because marriage is a beautiful thing to be celebrated and I eventually want that. However, I just want to celebrate and do it on my own time. Some people don’t even want to get married. It’s annoying when people keep putting pressure on you because of something they feel you should be doing. I just wish people would respect other’s wishes, opinions, or beliefs but, of course that’s too much to ask for lol. So, if you’re someone in my situation, tell all those annoying folks asking when they get a man, help you pay for your wedding, or fix their problematic relationship you’ll get married, until then stop asking and mind your business! Lol
I hope you enjoyed this post and found a little humor, advice, or new perspective. Until next time….