Our Darkest Hours Don’t Define Us

Hello loves💖. Today I want to talk about not letting our darkest hours define us. Unfortunately, just about everyone of us has went through a dark period in our lives, whether it was losing a loved one, going through a bad relationship, infertility, divorce, miscarriage, financially at rock bottom, job loss, homelessness, etc. Whatever your darkest hours were, we can all relate to experiencing a time period in our lives which caused us to feel low and in a not so good place.

Although, we may have been in a not so good state, mentally, emotionally, physically, and/or financially, those dark hours don’t define who we are. Just because a person goes through hard times doesn’t define their character, destiny, or future. I feel like people, including me at some point become down sometimes and convince themselves that what currently is, will always be, which is simply not true.

When I had my son, I was a young, broke mom in college barely making ends meet. My significant other and I were working on rebuilding our relationship and in the meantime I continued to go to school holding several positions in my career that caused me a lot of stress. I dealt with haters, mean and nasty people, negative Nancy’s, Debbie Downers, and Bitter Betty’s throughout that tine who tried to rain on my parade. At times, I would become frustrated, angry, and bitter and would want to give up, but I refused to let my circumstances nor people define me as a person. I could have allowed my situation to change me and define my personality and character for the worst, but I’m glad I didn’t. I could’ve became the statistic society said I’d most likely be, a quitter, or a miserable, negative person.

But, God had other plans for me as he does for all of us. I continued to persevere and use those circumstances and doubters to shape me. Our darkest hours shouldn’t define us, but they should help to shape and mold us to the person we are destined to be. For example, a person who’s struggling and jobless should use their dark hours to find their God, given purpose, maybe take the opportunity to go back to school, and use it as a positive. Instead of, deciding to be stagnant  working at a job that doesn’t utilize their talents and skills, with little pay, constantly crying broke, never pushing themselves to their highest potential, criticizing and critiquing those that are still trying to move forward, dream, and fulfill their purpose.

I know it’s easier said than done, and we may have times where we’re unmotivated, stressed, or too depressed to move forward sometimes, but don’t sit idle in that state for too long. Use that dark period to make you stronger, more faithful, bigger, and better than before. Think about all the successful people and celebrities you hear about or come across. Most of their back stories are just like ours. They’ve experienced dark times, but they didn’t let it define them and used it to help them grow.

Because, in the end, no matter what you go through it’s how we handle those dark times that truly defines us. Don’t fall victim to your circumstances. If you’re reading this blog post, you’ve proven that you’re still standing in spite of: hurt, pain, failure, sadness, anger, betrayal, frustration, discouragement, depression, etc. You’ve already shown that although there have been minor setbacks and temporary derailment, you haven’t been defeated. We can’t control everything that happens in our lives, but we can control our attitudes and how we deal with our situations in life. Don’t let life’s unfortunately circumstances define or destroy you, nor break you down. Instead, choose to fight and become the victor.


I hope you enjoyed this post, learned something, or become motivated, encouraged, or inspired. If that’s not you, if know someone forward this post to someone who may need some uplifting. It always takes a village to support one another.

Until next time,

B 💄💋❤

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