Hey loves! I hope you’re enjoying your holiday season so far. Today’s blog is post about overcoming other people’s negative opinions. Has someone ever out a negative label on you, based on their opinion of you or your situation? Has anyone ever told you that you won’t make it far in your profession/career, that you’ll never amount to more than what you already are, that your disability or condition will keep you disabled never being able to live the life you want, you’ll never make it as a single parent, won’t be able to have more kids, survive your divorce, or make it on your own?
Well, if you’ve every had someone try to put you in their negative opinion’s category or labeled you as a person that wasn’t going to amount to anything great, I’m here to tell you DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM! Sometimes it’s hard to hear the negative thoughts, comments, and opinions of other’s and not get discouraged, beat yourself up, or doubt yourself.
Honestly, if I listened to what everyone else said about me I wouldn’t be where I am today of if I had penny for every time someone said something rude about me and the negativity they try to speak into existence, I’d be rich . Over the years I continue to learn how to overcome the negative thoughts and opinions about me or my life. Read long to see how I overcome the naysayers and the negative opinions they try to speak over my life.
- Get Better, Not Bitter
When I was younger I was a handful. Well, who am I kidding? I’m still a handful. lol. But, when I was a kid it was worse. I was very mischievous, a rebel in my own right, a wild child, if you will. I was on a behavior monitoring scale from kindergarten to getting in-school suspension until senior year. Trust me when I say, I’m not as bad I sound. I had ISS for stupid reasons. Not fulfilling my detentions (which were also silly) for things like talking in the library, being on my cell phone, so-called skipping the lunch line, etc. My grades weren’t always the best and I often had arguments with my teachers. I know some of my teachers and even family members though I wasn’t going to get very far in life because of my attitude or behavior. Then, I went to college and got pregnant between my sophomore and junior year. I was single and pregnant, with no job, and living back at home. And, I also knew that many people (friends, family, and associates) thought I wasn’t going to make it, it would take me longer to finish school, the dad would never love or care about me or his child, my child would be fatherless just like me and their kids or the rest of society, or I’d just be another statistic.
But, boy did I prove them wrong lol. I believe I became a respectable young woman who finished 6 consecutive years of college and finished with not only my bachelors, but my master’s degree as well. I became a home owner, have a successful career, a beautiful son (who has a developmental delay and is excelling in spite of other’s saying he wouldn’t), have traveled the world, and I have been with my son’s father for 10 years now. I’m not saying this to brag or boast, but I am saying this to let you know that I have been told negative thoughts and perceived as a nobody for years, and that instead of getting bitter, I got better. I used their negativity to improve myself and become a better person (which I did). The best revenge is to prove people wrong. While most if not all of those that had something negative to say, God has placed me in a better position than them. Ask God to help you to turn the negativity as a positive to become stronger, bigger, and better than ever before. God did it for me and he’ll do it for you too.
2. Weed Out the Bad Apples
In order to overcome other’s negative thoughts, I remove them from my life. I believe at some point in your life, you just have to weed out the bad apples. When the people surround yourself are always hating on you, telling you how you won’t ever make it, support your dreams/goals, or putting you down, it’s best to remove them from the equation. Surround yourself with people who love you, promote positivity and vibes, and who encourage and uplift you. I often find those that impose their negative opinions on others, it’s often their own insecurities they’re projecting onto the other person. When you’re surrounded by your loved ones and friends who show you genuine love and care, you’ll feel so much happier, like a weight is lifted of your shoulders. Don’t let those negative people be in your life. They were only there for one purpose: For God to use them to help you realize they’re there for a season and to use them to motivate you and get you to the next level of your destiny.
4. Trust Yourself
I’ve learned not only do I must have to become better and not bitter, weed out the bad apples, but I realized I need to trust within myself. I came to a realization that I need to stop doubting myself and believe that I can do I whatever I put my mind, overcome whatever obstacle in my way, and beat the odds. When I started to believe in myself and speak positive things into existence and over my life, things started to change for the better. When I had my son, yes things were harder before I had kids, but I believed in myself that I could and still can do it. At times, I may have needed an extra push or more words of encourage more some days than others, but I stopped doubting myself and encouraged myself to keep going. If you’ve survived this far and long, you can and will continue on. Not only did I trust in myself, but I trust and believe in God. God says, what he has for you is for you, and there’s not one person, hater, or naysayer that can take that away from you. No matter what, God always has the final say. So, when you can’t always believe in yourself, believe in him, your purpose, and what you’re really striving for.
5. Live and Let Live
Lastly, I just live and let live! With so much going on in the world, the last thing I need to be worried about is what other people think of me. There’s always going to be one person, if not more that has something negative to say. However, I refuse to allow that negativity to overcome by life and happiness. Sometime you have just life your life and hope and pray that those people find love and happiness within themselves and their situations. People talked about Jesus, and yet he still lived his life, fulfilling his God-given destiny. He wasn’t worried about what people thought about him. He was on a mission to fulfill his purpose. He lived his life and continue to push forward. Live your life, give your problems to God, and enjoy yourself! Unfortunately, we can’t control people, but we can control ourselves. Choose freedom, happiness, and joy. Choose life! While you’re out celebrating what is and what is to come, you won’t even think about the Negative Nancy’s and Debbie Downers.
However, in the end, I have learned to just accept people for who they are. Unfortunately, someone always has something to say and will always share their wanted and unwanted two cents. I realized there’s a big difference between constructive criticism and negative people, whom no one needs in their lives. I also realized that sometimes we can’t always escape the negativity either. Sometimes the most negative comments, thoughts, and opinions come in the shape of everyday people such as: family, friends, significant others, and co-workers. At that point boundaries should be setup and enforced. Let people know that you won’t continue to accept or accept their constant negative perception of you or your life, at all. Put people in their place and demand that they respect you or your life or say nothing at all. Although, you cannot control what people think feel or say, you can control who you accept in your life and how they speak to or in front of you, by removing yourself from the situation and choosing to remove them or keep that at arms lengths. Do you and let the haters hate!
Thanks for reading my blog posts (sometimes as long as they may be J ). I hope you learned something or can relate. Until next time……