Hello loves and Happy New Year!! I am so excited because this is my first blog post of the new year!! (Woot, woot!!) So, today I want to talk about what failure teaches us. Failure is inevitable because no one is perfect. Everyone has experienced failure at some point in their lives or they will, and this is just normal and realistic. Trust me in trying to balance my hectic and sometimes chaotic life, at times I think about how much I’m failing. Sometimes when I’m running late and cause my son to be late to his soccer game I think I’m failing, when I make a mistake at work in front of my superiors I think I’m failing, and when I got pregnant during the second semester of my sophomore year of college, I thought I was failing. But, what I didn’t do and don’t do, is allow my failures to totally defeat me or stop me from ever trying again. Over the past few years though, I’ve taken a backseat to some of my dreams and goals to focus on motherhood and adulting, which have made me a little too comfortable and afraid of taking risks (which I miss). So, this year instead of being afraid I am going to use the lessons failure taught me and share them with you!
- Realizing It’s Not The End of the World
Looking back on my failures, and knowing the anxious, on-edge, short-tempered person I can sometimes be I realized I freaked out a lot and then realized it was over nothing. I can honestly say some of my failures weren’t as real as I thought they were and some were, but I always recovered. This taught me to not freak out and panic and instead figure out a solution or improvement in my failure. Now I tell myself , “Hey, you screwed up….but, how are you going to fix this?”. Solutions are always better than pity and sadness. Failing isn’t going to fix it for you, but if you’re not focusing on them, you can focus on how you’re going to be better and do better.
2. Who’s For Me and Who’s Against Me
Have you ever failed at something or several things and low-key realized that some of the people who acted like they wanted you to win secretly wanted you to fail? It seems that when certain people who realize or come to find out that I wasn’t doing so well or that it looked like I was failing, they were secretly happy and smiling inside. But, that just made me realize how was really for me and who’s really against me. When I fail, I can tell who the haters are because they’re usually not supportive of you or encouraging you to continue pressing forward and they’re happy because they think they’re doing better than you. This has helped me realize the people who are truly there for me and always in my corner uplifting me and my spirits.
3. Changed My Outlook on Life
My failures have also helped me to change my perspective and outlook on life. I just value different things now like chasing my dreams and goals and not spending money foolishly or buying unnecessary material items I don’t need. I’m nicer, more laid back, and patient for things to happen. I realized that I don’t need to beat myself up and be so hard on myself and to just enjoy life in the meantime. What God has for you is for you, no matter how many times you fail.
4. Don’t Accept the “No’s” In Life
Failing and hearing people tell me no I can’t, no not today, it’s not for you, sorry to inform you, and all the other ways to politely tell you no, I stopped listening and accepting what I call, “lies” lol. I don’t take no for an answer and have developed the philosophy that today’s no could be tomorrow’s yes. Now I am the queen of maneuvering and being creative in finding ways to receive my yes lol. You can take no for an answer, but don’t accept it as your end all be all.
5. Failing to Get It Right
Honestly, I feel like if I hadn’t failed so many times at things I wouldn’t get it whatever I was supposed to be doing right. And, not necessarily failed, but if I hadn’t even had some failed attempts at my dream job, working in several different positions until I actually got the one meant for me, I would have missed out of learning experiences, professional and career growth, and the growing pains that helped prepare me for my position now. And, it’s not just about my career, but just things in my life in general. Failed attempts helped better prepare me for lies ahead in the future. Sometimes we need to fail to see what we don’t want, to mature, to grow in the way God wants us too, to fulfill our destiny and purpose he has for our lives. If I hadn’t failed so many times I may not have figured out my gifts and talents to fulfill his will for me.
Failing keeps me humble. It reminds me I’m human, I’m not better than anyone, it’s not a race, and to do things in God’s time. It reminds me of where I was, where I’m at, where I’m going, and who I’m still striving to be. It keep me grounded, makes me realize I’m not perfect no one is, and reduces my ego.
7. Grow Closer to God
In my failures I’ve grown closer to God and became more thankful and grateful that he helped bring me through my failures and struggles and helped me weather the storm. I more of my faith and trust in him and I ask him to reveal what these failures mean so I can learn from them. I ask God to reveal his plan to me, help me to accept his plan when I don’t like it, and to trust his plan.
8. Never Give Up
Singing, “Never give up on the good times, gotta believe in the love you find”. Okay so those of you that know and love the Spice Girls can appreciate this. Regardless of all my failures I never gave up. There have been times I thought this was the end of me, I’ll never make it, I can’t bounce back from this, etc. But, then I realized that was just the devil and the enemy talking trying to get in my head. I believe that whatever you put into this world and speak into your life you will get back. Tell yourself inspiring, encouraging, and motivating things that will help you be persistent in moving forward. Try not to get discouraged and surround yourself with positive people, in positive moods, in positive environments.
So, I encourage you to stay focused, positive, committed, and encouraged this year to take risks and not focus on your failures or failing. Everyone will have a failure or multiple failures, but it’s how we use those failures that’s really important. Don’t decide to wallow in self-pity or depression or fuel the enemy. Instead use that energy as motivation to prove to yourself that you can do whatever you set your mind to.
I hope this post was inspiring, encouraging, motivating, and/or relatable. Please share this with someone who may need their spirits lifted. Again, Happy New Year, peace, love any many blessings!